kiss:
the night they spent in jail

a work of fiction by: r.j.
kiss special magazine - fall 1979

it's a little known fact, but kiss spent the night in jail. they were accused of an awful crime and were almost terribly punished for it.
did they do it, were they framed? read on and see for yourself.

we all have some dark moment in our past which we would like to forget and live down. it may have happened once - a freak occurrence - but it is a bad memory which is better off forgotten. it may or may not be of major importance, but to each of us it takes on special significance in terms of it's effect on us.

now, you wouldn't think that such a thing could happen to famous people like kiss, but guess again. there is a blot on their past which they have tried to forget. however, being so internationally famous, it is quite hard for them to hide even the most minute item from the press or their fans. word has just leaked out about an incident which kiss would like to think never happened.

what could this horrible thing be? well, kiss spent a night in jail--they were arrested. it sounds incredible, but it's true. you would think that superstars like kiss would be above such a travail, but the laws long hand reaches out and grabs everyone.

before you think that kiss are common criminals--or worse--take heart. it was all a case of mistaken identity. but that was of little consolation to kiss--they still were treated like criminals and spent the night in jail. it still makes them shudder to think about that night.

they had just finished playing a concert in a small southern town--they have asked that the name of the town be kept secret, to avoid any further embarrassment. naturally, they had played their hearts out, as they always do, and were totally exhausted. they couldn't wait to get to their hotel room.

since it was a warm summers eve, they decided to make the short trip to their hotel room on foot. the four musicians started out, still feeling the high which comes from performing before so many people. they were exuberant and happy.

all of a sudden, like a flash of lightning, four police cars, lights whirling and sirens ringing, rushed out of the darkened night, surrounding kiss. kiss members were scared out of their wits, but they figured it was a special police escort back to the hotel. after all, the boys were use to such treatment.

their minds were soon changed when the cops jumped out of their cars, guns in hand, yelling at kiss to spread their legs and not make a move. before gene, ace, paul and peter could utter a sound in protest, they had been frisked and handcuffed and were on their way to the town jail.

once they reached their destination, they were fingerprinted and booked and placed in a cell. it was the most humiliating experience of their lives. they would have rather been dead. they would get to the bottom of this, or their name wasn't kiss.

well, the sheriff explained to them that they were being held for bank robbery. the local band had been robbed during the night, and guess who were blamed? if you said kiss, give yourself a gold star.

the police had been informed that four men held up the bank at gunpoint. they were dressed in makeup and costumes like kiss. many witnesses said they would swear to the fact that it was, indeed, kiss who held up the bank.

the boys tried to explain that they were getting ready for their show, but the sheriff wouldn't listen. he said he had eyewitnesses and that was good enough for him. he also stated that all the receipts for that nights concert were in the bank and it added up to a tidy sum. he said kiss knew this fact and probably thought they could get out of town after the show before they were caught.

they tried everything they could do to talk their way out of the awful predicament they found themselves in. nothing worked. the sheriff said they would be held overnight and then transferred to the state prison. they were horrified and sick to their stomachs. they knew they were innocent--they neither needed nor wanted anymore money--but try convincing the sheriff of that fact.

they were resigned to spending the night in jail. they knew that they were innocent and somehow that would be proven.

they hoped that with the first ray of sunshine in the morning, their prospects would suddenly look equally bright. they had spent half the night in the dingy, dark and dusty cell when they heard loud rumblings outside, in the office.

the sheriff walked over the their cell and opened it. he told them to get out and follow him. they were really fearful. they had heard about what goes on in small, country jails and they were very important people. many thoughts ran through their minds in the time it took to walk from the cell to the office--all bad.

when they saw what awaited them, they really almost passed out from the surprise. staring them in the face were four men who were their exact doubles--complete with their makeup and costumes. it was uncanny and unsettling. they didn't know what to do or say.

the sheriff explained that his deputies had caught these four scoundrels, trying to skip out of town. they had the stolen money with them. it seems that these four thought that they would pose as kiss. they knew the boys were performing that night and figured they could get away with the devious scam. it almost worked.

but the police were still keeping a sharp lookout, just in case the captured and imprisoned kiss were telling the truth. these four were apprehended on the outskirts of town. they figured that with the makeup and costumes, no one could be able to tell them apart from the real kiss. they were right--to a point. just think, if they had successfully slipped out of town, kiss would have taken the rap and been sent to prison for a long time.

profuse apologies were made to kiss. they were so upset that all they wanted was to get out of that horrid jail and leave town as fast as possible. they vowed never again to set foot on or near that town again.

ace, gene, paul and peter had a very close call. it is one dark moment in their past which they feel is better forgotten. even though they were innocent, the memory still lingers on, leaving a bad taste in their mouths and bad vibes throughout their bodies. for once justice wasn't blind--the scales were tipped in favor of the righteous. the day was save for kiss, but this is one night they will never write home about.


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